Randomness 113.

My life man, I'll tell you...I'm actually, really enjoying life right now. There's never a dull day - I owe that mostly to myself. Was that an arrogant statement? Possibly. I just only stress to people whose lives "suck" that they should try making it not suck. Just, as I emphasized in my last blog, switch things up will do that...

--

Now, EJ's infatuation with Sua is almost as evident as mine for Autumn was during Homecoming-Set Up. It hasn't seriously bothered me yet, but I'm sure it will. Not that I don't advocate their becoming cool, it just feels weird.

--

Speaking of Sua, she fluctuates more than any economy ever could. From elated to melancholy, from flirty to distant - her pendulum swings never cease to Amaze me. At least, in the end, I know she loves me. I might as well continue talking about Autumn, since I brought her up...

Seeing her with her boyfriend actually doesn't bother me, wow. It does, however, always make me think about you should never be surprised to see two people together. Like, any two personalities can collide at any given moment. Anyways, we don't really talk much, but I doubt she fades away anytime soon.

--

Apparently, Mone' is upset with something in one of my blogs. Oh well; truth is, everyone who reads my blogs gets upset with something I said at one point. That's what happens when you truly tell it like it is. I love her though, without question. Remember what I said in my previous blog about expecting Tashauna to be just another girl I give a hug ? Well, I definetly expected that from Sabrina. Yet, she actually texts me and is happy to see me in school - happier than most girls are actually. It's refreshing, for it's something new and having someone happy to see you makes you...well...happy.

--

And that brings me to my final girl about which I will talk, Alex. I'll keep this brief, but she is just wonderously lovely and Cool =] She's a different type of friend, and I appreciate her ability to understand, be original, keep things interesting, and look cute while doing it all lol. & I would say something about Tashauna, but I'm saving that for a rainy day (she should know what I mean lol: I'M GOING TO DO IT TASHAUNA ! =])

--

Ok, now that the female aspect is done, let's make this thing more random. UMD application stuff is complete - so my only worry as of now, is my first quarter report card grade for English. The picture above, of Jessica Alba, is truly GORGEOUS. I'm considering using it for every blog from here on out; wouldn't that be something new? Lol. Lil' Wayne's new mixtape gets me excited, well, assures my jubilance. He's definetly my number one hype-man; Lollipop & Stuntin' both enstill me with so much joy.

---

*Yes, I am putting unrelated things in paragraphs to make this blog shorter.

---

The way Edem ODed on Nate, who I believe is slowly becoming a really good friend, really made me re-think things. Like, how could someone do that? It was very immature, as I told him, and makes me ponder about telling him so much. Believe it or not, during my 'recession' with Pap, I told him more than I did she. I don't think that'll ever happen again...there just isn't a boy out there who cares enough. Or, one that gives the thoughtful feedback that she does.

--

Homecoming...WOW ! Me actually wearing that outfit solitified me as truly not caring. Anyone would have been embarassed wearing that thing--but not I. And something else that has been on my mind, why are the people in the cafeteria so eager to collect the trash ? Lol. Like seriously, go sit down somewhere. & My family is really starting to get to me.

--

There's definetly more to say, like more friendship stuff. But oh well. I could tell you now the main points on which people will focus from this blog [since hardly ANYONE EVER focuses on the entire

blog] --but I'd rather not.

******

-em;

Brand New Eyes.

Dave recently abandoned his blogspot, for something called Tumblr I think. Oddly enough, I was, and still am, contemplating creating another blog - not on another site however.

I'm not sure why, but there's something about change, well, more so new things, that makes me flutter with joy. Being able to start things anew, or commence the rebirth of a dead subject makes me really happy.

A new blog would mean new experiences, and it would more accurately depict who I am as an individual. I am clearly not the same person who transcribed Fantastic Four last April, yet I am not too far from being him either.

My admiration for change and fresh material could be used to explain my romantic battles and experiences (in essence, my seemingly frequent acquistions and loss of crushes lol).

Interest in things is usually always there, but rarely does it last long. When it does last long, then that thing, or person, is almost certain to become a significant body and influence in my life. Take Tashauna for example. When we finally became 'friends', I truly thought it she would become just another girl I hug everyday, especially since she didn't like me initially. To my surprise, she intriguiged me. Of course, certain events helped catalyze that interest, but that matters not - nearly two years later, and she's one of my closest friends.

Point is, I like new things. They make me feel rejuvenated in a way, as if, I have been reborn with an added purpose in the world. If you switch it up, then I'll admire your friendship even more that I already do. That was not a call-to-action either; it was the Truth.

Simply,

He's running.

Six years of age, and he's running to catch it;

the Sun's just within reach to him, and so he tramples

the fields of grains and grasses.

So young and oblivious is he,

for the Sun's in space, in a far away land.

Or, is it us,

the adults who worry themselves with such

complications,

that are the oblivious ones?

He runs without a care,

or thought of the vast world that seperates his elated

soul and the golden dumpling he

desires.

He runs with certainty,

that he'll one day touch the vibrant yellow ball,

despite running for hours upon hours each day.

He runs with a heart,

that complexity destroys.

-em;

The Cool.

Red Skinny, Swagger Lovin',

Wannabe, Alba Husband.
Never Perfect, But Always Buzzin',

Big Dreams, Never Frontin'.

Almost Lost It, Almost Cried,

Might Leave, But Never Die.

Future Martyr?, Maybe So,

Inspiration, Watch It Grow.

Football Best, Cocky Guy,

Poetic Flow, Watch It Fly.

Flaws And All, She Is Gold,

Story Of Love, Nearly Told.

Never Win, But Always Play.

The Sun Will Shine, Everyday,
For Our Future, Let Us Pray,

This The Cool, That's All I'll Say.

-em;

Random Quiz;

*Did this while I was upset. Some of it is true and accurate for now, some of it is not. I've made ZERO changes to this, bytheway. The format was better, but Blogger S U C K S soo just deal with what you see =]

Do you like someone more than a friend right now? - Yes, Smh. Why !?

What are you wearing right now? - Tee; Pajama Pants Simpsons.

What are you listening to? -Bittersweet; Yeezy.

What are you excited for? -Nothing As of Now.

Do you have feelings for anyone? -Recall Question One.

Who woke you up this morning? -iPod.

What is your current mood? -Contemplative &Tired of It All.

What color shirt are you wearing? -Gray =]

What were you doing at 12:00 last night? - Playing Brawl; Great Game.

What are you doing tonight? Well, I'll Probably Be Doing Homework. And Helping With Homecoming Set-Up.

How much money do you have on you? on me? -50 cents.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? -Besides the Fact that Party in the USA Is Playing ? NO.

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl? -I Think I Always Waste Too Much Time on Every Girl. Like Seriously, All the Effort I've Put in Hasn't Gotten Me Anywhere. Wait; That's Not Totally True; Some of My Effort Has Helped Shaped Good Friendships.

Are you going to be completely honest and open? -Aren't I Always ? Yeah.

What if the last person you kissed was kissing someone else right in front of you? -I'd Probably Laugh or Look at Someone and Something More Important. Yeah; Definetly the 2nd One.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? -No. It's Like Me Speaking to Any Other Girl Forreal.

If you were really upset, who is the first person you'd go to? -No One Most Likely. I Don't Feel As Though I Have Such a Person, Yet.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? -Hmmm. Not Now, for I'm Fatigued. But in General, Yeah.

Who messaged you last? -Santos =] Miss Her.

Do you act differently around the person you like? -Well, of Course Not. I Might be More Flirty, Unless It's Someone Like Sua Lol.

Will you get kissed tonight? -Hahaha; I Wish.

What is wrong with you right now? -I'm Too Nice.

Do you get along with your family? -No. They Strive to Annoy Me.

Who makes you laugh? -The Most ? Probably Myself.

Who was the last person to call you? -Kris.

Did you enjoy your weekend? -One of the Best.

Do you regret doing something today? -Having Regrets ? That's soo D E A D. Last bed you slept in? -Here.

Sunrise or Sunset? -Sunset Is More Beautiful.

Do you believe your ex thinks about you? -She May from Time to Time; I Wouldn't be Surprised. Although, I Could Really Careless.

Are you open about your feelings or closed off? -More Open Then You'll Ever be.

Do you have friends you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell? -I Think So.

What is bothering you? -Infatuation, Love, Romance. And the Lack Thereof. And the Terribleness From Friends &Family.

Would you ever get a tattoo? -Yes; Will at 18.

Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend'? -Yes. If You Think No, Then Get a Best Friend...Now !

Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? -I Think We All Have at Least Once. I'll Never Do That Again Though; at Least Not Until Marriage and Having Kids...I'm Tired of Having Negativity Throw My Way When I Go out of My Way to Make One Happy.

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? -Yes, I Do. We Do Mean Lip Kissing Right ? Lol.

Who's the last male you saw in person? -Mom's Boyfriend.

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? -Fast. Because If I ACTUALLY Go with You, Then We've Already Been through A Lot and Effort Has Been OD.

What is your favorite drink? -Sierra Mist; or the Half&Half.

Is anything bothering you? -Look up Some Questions.

Is anyone else in the room with you? -My Faint Ego.

How do you feel right now? -No Further Comments.

Does anyone call you baby? -Yeah Someone Did, about 3 Years Ago.

What was the first thing you said this morning? -"Wow, I Really Did Get Only 1.5 Hours of Sleep."

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? -Never.

Are you jealous of someone right now? -I Think That's Impossible.

Do you get distracted easily? -No. When I'm Focused, I'm Focused.

Has anyone said "I love you" in the last week? -Lol. Good One.

Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? -INTERESTING Ones ? Yes. As Long as Effort Is Given from Both Parties, I Could Go All Night. =O

Do you get along more with girls or guys? -Dudes. Without a Doubt. It's Like, Females Just Naturally Don't Like Me or Something Sometimes Lol.

Is there a meaning behind your Myspace song? -Usually, Yes. But 'Empire State of Mind' Just Makes Me Wish I Were from New York, and Sometimes Brings up the Spirits.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? -Rachel ? Nope. Would Have Been Interesting Though. Probably Would Have Haha.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? -I Don't Cry...Ever.

Is it okay to kiss people when you're single? -I'm Not Sure Anymore. Yes, for You Shouldn't be Tied Down to Anyone While Single. Yet, to Me, a Kiss Signifies an Interest for a Relationship. Maybe I'm the Only One Who Thinks So=\

Are you good at hiding your feelings? -Yes. But I Put My Feelings out There Constantly So I Never Really Have a Chance to Hide Them. Maybe I Should Start ?

Who can make you laugh no matter what? -No One. Peter Griffin Is Close Though.

Single,or taken? -If I Had a Girlfriend, You Would Know Lol. The World Would Have Crashed into Jupiter by Now.

Has a song ever made you cry? -That's Dead.

-em;

My Bucket's Never Full.

Hostility got my head spinning like a whirlwind.

Don't know who to call my love or my best friend.

Ink spilling over, lost for words.
Thoughts in the ground, envy of birds.
Writer's block, it's essentially suicide.
No expression, my heart just died...

Last straw, that's all, that's it.

Chewin' drama up, hawk then spit.

Anger's staying there, it's never living here.

"Blah blah blah" is all I'll ever hear.

Immaturity dives, so I'll soar.

Get over it all; kick it out the door.

My resentment of string, they all love to pull.

Patience will always be there, my bucket's never full.

-em;

Randomness 112.

You might have noticed my new typing style.
Well, it's only really for texting and Facebook.
I capitalize every word that would be capitalized if my sentence were a title.
I wanted to get rid of the little 'explanations' at the end of my blogs, because they look Cooler without them, but I'm not sure now.

I'm sure some of your frown upon my constant changing.
It isn't because I'm not satisfied [although I'm not lol] but--
because I love switching thing up every now and then.
Whomever my next girlfriend [and in the future, Wife] is, will have one interesting life lol.

Speaking of girlfriend's and wives and that sort of thing:
Love's DEAD for me right now lol.
I'm not striving to be a catalyst of affection any longer. Whatever happens, happens.
[Ay Pap, ironic? Lol.]
Maybe Sua'll suprise me ?
Maybe someone'll pop up out of nowhere ?
Maybe someone'll come back ? Who knows.

_Phineas &Ferb.
Greatness ! Like; really.
Although it has a redundant formula EVERYepisode;
it does everything really well.
It makes me laugh sometime too;
reminds me of the Sponge a bit.

Aren't your proud of me ? -
To my surprise, I've actually stood by my
"Not caring so much about my attire EVERYday"
Proclamation.
If I stumble upon some $$$ though,
it's O V E R lol.

In need of another physical;trying to
RUN forreal.
And I really wonder who like,
really READS &THINKS ABOUT my blogs.
I need some new underwear,,,
socks wouldn't be bad either.
--Acoustic music is A W E S O M E;
I can't stop listening to the ItEndsTonight[Acoustic].
That,
or 'Gravity' by Sara Barellies.
or 'Down' by Jay Sean.
or 'Poison' by Beyonce'.
or 'Party in the USA' by Miley Cyrus.
Lol.
_I'm finished.

Edem,Andrew,and I were on WBAL !
=] It was Cool seeing myself;
Alex is SOCOOL,,,
iwantustobereallycool.
Tashauna's getting Cool again.
*Don't you love how this blog looks like a
poem ? =]

"STOP living inside the box. If life hands you lemons, make orange juice."
-em;

Addiction.

What will my next status be? Will she ever post that pic of me?

I wonder when they'll change the site around a bit. I love this place, I must admit. I should take this quiz, and look at what's on my wall!
I would comment this pic, but she isn't cute at all.

So many notifications, which will I check first? My addiction's Facebook, but it could be worst.

*Back-to-Back Blogs ! =] This is self-explanatory; it's ok to be addicted to Facebook, it's not weed or anything.

-em;

A Look in the Past: About Me.

This is an 'About Me' paragraph I made a while ago for Myspace. I just found it interesting to see the types of things I said back then lol. I love going on this computer-so many memories...

------

Miles- To some; a cocky, conceited fresh kid. But when you look from the outside in,you're probably wrong. Being the "class clown" aka "funny kid" has its advantages, yet sometimes everyone isn't in the mood for a joke. To some,I'm a genius. Such an overstatement; I just think that I pay attention. I write poetry for several reasons, you can ask meif you really care, which I doubt. When I go out with my friends, I'm crazy: that simple. No one believes me yet, but Eminem isthe best rapper alive. Skinny jeans are the coolest. My bestfriends (and others) may call me "girl crazy". But that's not the case !There's just some people who get to me I guess.

Like my current crushes (one clearly stronger that the other). One of them I believe has a boyfriend, just found out today, which really sucks cause I really like her. The other ? Well, she's a lowerclassmen that I just "met" (used the quotations because I introduced myself) but she barely recgonizes that I exist. I send her messageshere and there and even say "Hi" when I see her in school. Oh well,I think I'm going to stay single this whole year anyway (at first I just said that, but after today, I'm starting to believe it). Want names of thesegirls ? Hit my inbox. My friends still think I'm stuck on this girl from last year; and I can't blame them. I'm N O T[lmao] butI put her in such high regards. People think that we are going to get married..crazy ! She kind of has a boyfriend by the way. Lol

About 98% of the people I know have one thing in common when it comes to me; I can careless how they view me. The other 2% mattermore than anything, so I try my best to listen to them and be a good friend to them. Most of them know who they are, whileothers still continue to realize how important they are (like Sua for example).A lot of things I do are actually different; "actually" because people call themselves different all the time, yet are mere copies of their friends.I like Beyonce songs(just one of those different things); Halo,Flaws and All,Dangerously in Love, and If I Were a Boy in particular. No, I am not gay. I just recognize good music, am not scared to be open withmy interests, and as I said before, can careless about what most people think of me.

Now the whole "being cocky" thing. I have learned that its my clothingwhich gives this impression to people. In my school, you wear nice things and be different, people find bad things to say about you.Also, I have this "journal" that I call my "Yo": me being different, I write "Dear, Yo" before every entry. I started September 14th, 2008and have not missed a day since. Very interesting things in that book. I am [very] over-analytical; taking the smallest thingsand analyzing them to great extremes. I also think way too much about things; everything actually. They're gifts and curses. I love talking on the phone,but no one really calls. Only people that I call are the two bestfriends and my crush. And I don't even call them that often. I used to have texting,and will have it once again soon.

I love wearing clothes if that makes sense. Lol I really do plan out my outfits during the day.Shoes are the most important component of an outfit, anyone who knows me knows this. As of now, Health is my favorite class. Too bad that it will be over after 2nd Quarter.I am also very philsophical, but try to keep it at a minimal because no one really listens. Next time you think to judge me,know me first.

-em;

-em;

I wrote this for Biology class. It's a pathetic excuse for an auto-biography. It isn't nearly as complete or good as I could have made it, but just read if you care about anything.

To discuss my entire life would be a lengthy process with an innaccurate final product - for much has happened in my short 17 years, and no one's memory is good enough to aquedately describe 17 years worth of endeavors. However, I will do my best.

Born an inquistive child, I was told, I frequently found myself mezmorized by anything brightly-colored or seemingly complicated. My mother didn't enroll me into Pre-K; she decided to teach me things herself. I dedicate my success in school to this area in my life. Kindegarten was interesting, from what I can remember. I never slept during nap time, and minimal sleeping still haunts me today. My teacher despised my tendency to stay up and just glance around the dark classroom, but she eventually learned to embrace my willingness to stay up by playing with me during naptime. That is, of course, if I wasn't focusing all my attention to a girl. I've always been nearly obsessed with the opposite sex, even now endeavors with girls make up 50% of my life.

1st grade was a milestone. The once so beloved child became a troubled youth; my behavior rose to very disturbing heights. Cursing was a part of my daily vocabulary, deceitful and mischievous acts surrounded my lifestyle. I would have been punished a lot more during that school year, had it not been for my academic success. The year, however, was still very fun from what I can remember - every school year has been a good one for me.

I think I experienced "love" for the first time in 2nd grade. I put love in quotes, for many people believe that love cannot be displayed or even felt at such an early ages. Anyways, I met a girl from Texas named Saschelle Slaughter. She was basicaly my entire year; I adored her for the first quarter or so, until a very embarassing moment led to us uniting. During my most of my elementary career at Owings Mills Elementary, my classmates & I had assigned tables at lunch. On this particular day everyone who sat at my table was absent, besides Saschelle. Throughout the lunch period, I couldn't resist from playing with her exuberant locks. She, sensing some admiration, asked me, "Do you like me?". Of course I was extremely shy, and responded, "Naw." Ironically enough, when we had to line up toward the end of lunch, I told my closest male friends, "oh my god! Saschelle thinks I like her. Oh my god, what will I do?!" Saschelle's best friend, Kayla, happened to hear the conversation and told Saschelle that I liked her. I found out, and ran as fast as I could back to class - trying to avoid Saschelle. While stricken with love, I was also not too bright - Saschelle sat right in front of me in that class. So avoiding her was a pointless action. In class, I kept my head down and ignored Saschelle's tap on my shoulders and constant pleas, "Miles. Miles?" Later that day, we made it "official." It saddens me that I can remember so much about her, even the fact that she moved back to Texas around Christmas time leaving the gift I bought for her unopened, but cannot recall how we finally became a couple. Either way, her moving was the worst feeling I had experienced in my life at that point. Everything else in 2nd grade? Well, I became friends with the older kids - and developed my love for football.

3rd grade was also one of those years that changed my life. I met some friends on the bustop that I still talk to now. The remaining elementary grades were pretty much the same; new life-long friends and a growing love for football.

Middle school was the worst of the three school levels. I was heavily influenced by bad individuals and am lucky to have not been too sucked into their ways.

Entering my freshman year, I had a very low self-esteem as far as grades had gone. In just my 8th grade year alone, I had received every possible grade on my report card. Yet surrounded by good friends, a group who would later be called Q.U.A.D., I mananged to achieve straight A's in both my 3rd and 4th quarters. This was a stupendous feat; not only were such grade a HUGE leap from ym previous middle school grades, but I encountered much drama with girls and friends throughout that year. Q.U.A.D. and Ms. Hillman, my favorite teacher ever, helped me get through the year. However, I was still very immature and oblivious. My personality would have to make a dragstic change.

And, it almost did. 10th grade brought a plethora of new, good friends, and with them, came a load of drama too. 10th grade was my worst year socially, for I made many mistakes. From bad relationships, to a severe wrong choice of words, I was a mess. The year was still filled with much jubilance, thanks to optimistic friends, who also faced many despair-filled months. My memory of the year has left me, for I tried to move from such a year. I played football and also ran track for the first times in my life. And in this year, despite the drama, I became cool with the future love of my life.

11th grade was the best year, as far as my personality changes go, of my life. I stopped caring so much about the opinions of others - barring those who were important to me. While going through many "phases" romantically, I remained single and focused on strenghting bonds with friend created in my previous two years. It was easy. The schoolwork, however, was difficult. That year, I actually had to study for tests - something very foreign to me. My grades suffered severely 3rd quarter, but I bounced back at the end of the year. There were many hysterical moments this year; the BEST year so far, except 9th grade.

And here I am, a Senior anticipating what this year will throw my way. I've already encountered counterfeit beings yet have laughed so very much. College preparation is stressing, yet I've learned to not let things get to me. That was just an insight; maybe when I write my true auto-biography in a few years will you truly know. . .

-em;

Fear the Plane.

The fall didn't bother her, nor did the impact. It was the push off that plane that hurt the most. Almost on Cloud Nine she was, almost at a point of pure exultance for life. Yet he was stronger; so easily did he manipulate her - beguiled her into boarding that plane of affection ! So easily did he deceive her mind into thinking she was loved ! So easily was her ascension to admiration changed into a descending journey back to strife and mourning !

The push was done effortlessly; there was no remorse or mercy for the vunerable heart of hers. He planned from the beginning to fool her oblivious mind to fufill his own lustful desires. It's sad really, how one can so easily grasp the most precious thing anyone can ever hold, a heart, with mendacious words and thrash it within seconds. She never did get on that plane again. She's too scared of love.

Well, too scared of false love.

------

*This was made from my own feelings and thoughts, and how I think certain girls feel and think.

-em;

60th.

Yes, yes, yes - it's the 60th blog of mine ! [don't try and count; because ihave one hidden blog lol.]
...
So now what ? Well; I'll do something similar to what I did in my 'Fantastic Four' blog---
ofcourse; Tashauna & I have drifted so
there isn't much I can say abouther.




Marcus.
Then again; he doesn't need to go first
this time--for things are different.




EJ.
This guy, is like, idk. UP THERE right now.
Although his endeavors are pretty blurry to me,
He knows most of mine. *It's impossible to do this
without sounding gay.* So I'll just stop right there.


Pap.
So like, I've always wanted a best friend. A really genuine
BEST friend. Marcus, EJ, and Andrew have already given me
that, but not in the way Pap does. It's incredible, actually...
I can't keep a thing from her. To keep this short,
I'll just say that she, in a sense, IS me. [ofcourse the
personalities are different, butthat's not the point. lol]


Sua.
It's going to be SO difficult saying everything I want to while
keeping this condensed. Anyways; I really came into this section
with intentions of blaming my and Sua's 'single' status mostly on her.
And while her rollercoaster signals do hinder MUCH progress, it's me.
I just, expect too much out of a potential girlfriend, I expect too much out
of Sua -- too much that she'll probably never be able to give me.
Autumn, I believe, was a test for me -- to see if I could dispel any
serious infatuation even with a relationship with Sua hanging around
the corner...and I failed miserably. Or, did I pass ? Maybe she was a
test to see if I could rid myself of my feelings of Commitment to Sua,
someone who isn't my girlfriend. Either way, that situation changed
my view on everthing. After it all, I am right back where I started --
she's taken, & Sua and I are still here. Those physical endeavors, a type of
flirting very foreign to Sua and me, blinded me from the life I have with Sua...
they truly did. And with that, I conclude that unless I expect less,
or can move by this lifestyle, or if Sua can do more, than it will
not happen anytime soon. *Ha !, so much for this being short. lol.


Marcus.
Our friendship is video games, football, and randomness in Economy.
That isn't a bad thing, by any means, it is just really weird. I'm used to him
being everything, or barely anything at all.


Janelle.
When we talk, it's like we've been best friends for quite sometime. Now while
the same feeling is not felt nor shown in school, I appreciate her being here.


Mone.
She basically cut me off; and always acts funny to me in school. So I guess
that's how it ends. I still love her, of course.


Sabrina.
Weird; we're cool. Like, we've always had ourUPS in our friendship, but
she actually seems to care about me this time around -- who knows, she
may just become really important.


Uhm. I was going to talk about Jasmine and others; but they haven't done
enough yet lol. I am anticipating this 'talk' Kayla and I are supposed to be having.
I'll ask about it ONCE MORE; then I'm throwing it away.

*So since I can post this, I can definetly post the blog about sex lol.

"I never truly lose; I just gain something I never thought I would." -em;

The Worst Feelings Are Made here.

After taking one of your longest, meanest Dumps, you look to the left just to see that there's no toilet paper left.

--

You wake up really tired in the morning, and start brushing your teeth. After like 1 minute of good brushing, you notice that the color of your toothbrush is the same as your sisters.

--

A bestfriend tells you that you guys will not fade away from each other, and then you don't see their name in your inbox after only a few months.

--

The big test is today, and you studied your little heart out last night, and then, you get an E on your interim.

--

"I'm really disappointed in you."

--

After contemplating for too long about a girl, and you have finally made a decision, she decides to leave you alone.

--

In an even worst situation, the same happens, except she really isn't over you.

---

Your washing machine is having difficulties, and you have one more pair of over-sized boxers left.

--

You try vigorously to create conversation - you use every 'trick in the book'. And then you get your reply, "Oh."

[etc etc.]

--

The one you call best friend, doesn't even tell you something important, and you find out from an aquaintence. Or Facebook.

--
"I have a boyfriend."

--

*I've only post things that have happened to me - there are a Plethora of things that could go on this list. These are just the first that came to mind; thank my need to use the bathroom for this blog. I would add to this, but who will really go back to see if I changed it? ... Lol - exactly.

,,,

"Don't blink; you might not be happy when you open your eyes."

-em;

Randomness 111.

Today wasn't as great as I thought it would be - pretty basic day; didn't get to see certain people; etc. Nevertheless, I remain joyful - still inspired, still escatic for the next day.

My life, as of now, is wow to me. Barring today's lack of flair, something interesting happens everyday. I still need to hop on that CollegeRealness, but that's the only 'bad' thing going on right now. I'm feel like a true Renegade; pretty much not caring lol. Like, of course I care, but not as much. But let's get back to the more 'Random' things...I mean, that is about what this blog is right ?

I'm an Avid tv-watcher once again. It feels great; Spongebob, Family Guy, South Park, House, Heroes, MTV Jams, and the NFL Network all add to an already jubilant me. Wonder how long that will last. . .

Texting has really DIED; like wow. I barely text anyone; I did start texting Brittany from my old neighborhood though - that was fun.

My favorite song right now is pretty ambiguous. Like; I have this classic track from Eminem's first album 'I Still Don't Give a Fuck.' [that song is such Inspiration]. Then, I have the song 'Walk Away' by Paula Deanda [don't say anything lol. <--song makes me think.] And of course, I have about 2 Jay-Z songs from the Blueprint[one] that I absolutely adore. Guess a lot of things with me are questionable...

I really don't like disappointing those that I love or about whom I care. I really love the whole snuggling, hugging, holding hands, etc type stuff - like omg I really do ! lol.

Wait ! 'Lazy Days' by Shwazye is my favorite song lol. Like; that song is sooo relaxing &inspirational. It makes me just want to live life, and enjoy doing it. And oh yeah; care-less.

It seems like Tashauna wants to come back into my life; wonder if Jheri will join along ? & Oh yeah; Lauren goes with Andrew - yuck. She didn't tell me about it, but I guess I can't blame her entirely. Neither her, nor Tashauna and Jheri - I kind of let people go. But then again, as Sua always emphasizes, you shouldn't go running around forcing people to be really cool with you. It will happen if they want it to, or if you really want it to, or if Destiny calls. [of course, I don't really believe in destiny - I think we determine what happens; nothing is set in stone.

My family annoys me. I was soo happy to get away from them for those few days. Yes, this sounds bad, but I needed [and STILL need] some time away from such negative energy. I can only isolate myself so much. I find it amazing how I'm usually happy a midst this negative vibe.

Uhm. As far as relationships go, and romantic interests, I don't feel like discussing them.
This blog is so much longer that I had anticipated, like I thought I didn't have much about which to talk - for it was about 4 days since I went to school, so everything from last week is pretty blurry.

This blog has been sitting here to long: you get the jist of what's going on right ? - Oh yeah; I think Pap v. Edem is one of the WHACKEST Supreme Court Cases ever lol.

"Inspire me, or leave."
-em;

I'd "yeah" You.

So this blog is really just me making a point about how you shouldn't hesistate to say things because I fear of others reactions. Yes, some things are inappropriate, but everything is not.

Anyways. This blog is about girls who I would "yeah" if I have to choose. Of course, we all know that I'm not the type to just have sex with girls and throw them to the side. Rasheed just came up with this original idea, and I decided to entertain it. The girls in this list will probably never read this blog lol -- but if you guys do: please, don't take offense. I'll explain each choice. I also realized that my mini-list on Facebook was not in correct order.

1). Brionnah Greene; I am more physically attracted to her than anyone in my school, and this would also give me a chance to get to know her better. Haha.

2). Brittany Graves; I'm not really sure why. I mean, she's my bestfriend, and we've had our little "moments", but nothing never too serious. I think, it's because I know it would be GREAT and make up for all of the missed opportunities we've had.

3). Sua Bamfo; I mean come on now...seriously? It's SUA lol. It would like heightened and release all of the extreme emotions we have for one another. It probably kills her reading this blog.=]

4). Sabrina Victor; Pretty much the same thing I said about Brionnah [like; getting to know her better]. I'm also like OD attracted to her as well - probably number two.

5). Tashauna Thompson; I want to know what was so great to have M keep coming back. I'd also want to find out if all those feelings between us were genuine and worth pursuing a relationship. I had GREAT doubts about Tashauna; this would have told me if my doubts were pointless or a good thing.

6). Mone Scott; Omg, I don't think you guys understand how many times I have envisioned doing this with her. Lol. Like, too many times. All these years would just EXPLODE into one event.

7). Saika Bince; Basically, the same thing as with Tashauna. She lives so far away, and we seemed to have such a great connection - it would be great to experience those feelings, and determine if they were worthwhile.

8). Janelle Oni; One of those unexplainable ones. She's just so great.

9). Kayla Ghee; Yes. She takes part in an activity that iHATE, but I love her body ! Lol. Omg, this explanation makes me feel like all those other dudes. But she is gorgeous, and we would probably be more cool if this were to happen.

10). Pap; OMG; I can't believe I just said that. Seriously !? It like, makes this list 600x worst. But like, it seems like she would be BEASTMODE and dispel my thoughts that sex is good regardless.

*This probably still isn't in the right order. Oh well; enjoy - or don't.'

And I really wanted to add Autumn Franklin in here. She would have been pretty high; but I haven't known her long enough.

AND THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT ORDER AS OF NOW. IT WAS BACK WHEN I MAD THIS BLOG THOUGH.

"Am I cool yet?"

-em;

Camp Ramblewood.

Let me begin by saying, "What happens in Camp Ramblewood, stays in Camp Ramblewood" lol, so I won't speak on the experience too much.

But being there for three days did something to me. Everyone knows how I am when it comes to clothing &shoes. Yet, my final morning waking up in the cabin, and even the night before, I didnt even think much of my attire. Edem and company asked me if I wanted to change for the upcoming event (I was a bit dirty). Usually, I would have said, "Yes! Omg" without hesistation. But "No" was my answer. It's like, all of a sudden, I realized that being "Fresh" isn't necessary all of, or even the majority of the time. Of course, I still love getting dressed, but I just don't think it's as important as it once was. Then again, I could just be talking right? We'll see.

I have really high hopes for this year. I already did, but now I'm extremely optimistic and confident. The enviornment in which I was really inspired me: so many people were so friendly and funny. (Among other positive traits). I mean, Randallstown has it's wonderful people - no doubt. But the Camp Ramblewood atmosphere, while not too racially diverse, was invigorating with it's jubilant aura.

The last 3 days have also encouraged me to be more involved with SGA, and more helpful and caring to people in general. That's all I really have to say - it was a wonderful experience that has changed my outlook on my life, and life itself. As I essentially said before, you don't need any details of my stay=], for:

"That which is shrouded in mystery is that which is beautiful."

-em;

*Unless of course, Pap and/or Edem tell you about the trip. And Edem was right, I sometimes do things I don't want others to do. While I feel it happens not as often as he suggests, I still need to kill that.