Randomness 104.

I'm weird. Like, I've been told that before, but it really HIT me today.

So like, we all know about how I scold [some] of the trends infecting my peers right ? Twitter, for example, has always seems pointless to me. But today, I posted about 10+ non-stop status updates on Facebook. How can I downsize Twitter, a site dedicated to status updating, yet have posting my status be my most use activity on Facebook ? Maybe I jus never understood the greatness with the depths, and outskirts, of Twitter. I should try it. I already know, that if people actually paid attention and cooperated with me on there, I would Covet it.

Saika brought up a good point today about the saying, "Get your mind out of the gutter." Why does sexually-based have to be considered a bad thing ? Why can't the saying include something "prettier, like a basket?" [Saika's words in the quotes.] This is true, like Sex is acclaimed yet frowned upon when used in regular conversation. Yes, the saying 'get your mind out of the gutter' is usually accompanied by a 'Lol' which indicates humor, but the saying itself is negative.

I guess, what I really am saying, is why can't the negative in our lives transpire to positive ? Or, why is it so hard to do so ?

I realized what type of life I want in the future. I want to be like super cool with one of my male bestfriends. I want us to live together, like a television sitcom, and go through so much drama and good times---from girls, to family, to EVERYTHING. Then, I want us to both find a woman, get married, and live not to far from each other so we can stay cool until Death. I thought of this while riding in the car today, fearing that I'd be alone after college, and trying to figure out how could life be interesting without the Joy of school.

Love at first sight isn't when you first look at someone, it's when you first look in them. Inspiration: -Ms. Bince.♥

Just for kicks: my 'girl-crazy' syndrome really is curing ! Like, I haven't been thinking about mutiple girls all the time nor constantly talking about them. You may not care, but I'm proud of yours truly.=]

I just notice that I always say something along the lines of "you may not care" when I want you to care. I just wished people cared more about the little things; especially since I adore and emphasize the little things.

I just killed a spider, despite my reluctance. I let my fear of him creeping across my rugged skin while I am asleep dispel my admiration for nature and it's wonders. I feel like a hypocrite, yet, I never did advocate letting animals live. My favorite food is cheeseburgers after all.

Edem just invigorated my life. He asked me if I wrote 'It Ends Tonight' and how long did it take. Essentially, he thought some published writer gave birth to such a celestial love letter. He is one of the people whose opinion I look forward to the most, simply because I have not heard it enough.

I am growing severly restless of girls saying 'Niggaz ain't shit.' [Excuse the french, I was merely reciting a popular saying.] It's astonishing, really, that the girls who advocate such disdain for boys are the girls who continue to affiliate themselves with boys who make their lives hell. Who break their hearts. Who tell them lies. Who don't care about who they really are. I just wish they try another type of guy, so that they could not spew such immature words.

My job is starting to rock the one little annoyance nerve I have left in my body. I will be searching for another; working at a fast-food restuarant alreay goes against my values, you would think that would be enough. But no, disrespect and disappreciation also plague me. My fellow employees, for the most part, are wonderful. My superiors, however, are not too far from repulsive.

Pap, also knows as Yvette, is starting to become the most significant friend in my life since Andrew in 9th grade, and Marcus in 10th grade. I have always wanted to have a true bestfriend of the opposite sex especially, who put me as # 1, and put by me as #1. Although that has not happened with her, I realized that she is the closest that I will ever get to reach that ambition. I'd go to talk about/for Anything: money, [discuss] sex, dreams, fears, mishaps, death, music, love, bubble gum, etc. She is just so great. Yes, I despise somethings she says, but their[her words] efforts to make me dislike her are rendered inneffective, for her sheer internal goodness outshines all discrepancies I have. Edem, and everyone else, you may try to use this as another reason of why I maybe be infatuated with Pap. But why, in the name of all that is celestial, would I wish to sacrifice such genuine friendship ?

I have come to the conclusion, that I am a hopeless romantic. I always want to feel loved. And as of now, I want to wake up everyday knowing that I will see my significant other in only a few hours. I want to stay up late and talk until our breaths stop, and our hearts implode. I want to experience dates in the middle of a large field, looking up at the stars, just lying there: hands locks, bodies embracing one another. I want to be able to go to Prom, and already know who my date is, and KNOW my love will have fun with my friends and I. I want to actually look forward to Valentine's Day, not because I am planning on saying something to say a girl, but because I am planning on expressing three words* I have already said to a girl. I want to be able to go home, and eat dinner with only one hand, for my other hand is intertwined with hers under the tablecloth. I want to be late to every class, for I had to walk one to her own classes. I want to able to be kissed daily, and have people smile as jubilance transfer from lip to lip. I want to go to sleep everynight, with 'I love you.' pulsating through my ears with each second that passes by. I want...to love, and be loved back, by one who is mine, and to whom I belong.




"...I have already learned love. To be loved back, is my greatest aspiration. And is the next step in my journey to absolute elation."

-em;




* three words - I love you.