Randomness 103.

...so like, today helped me realize
how much ireally love walking.
my cuzzin & I walked a third to Checkers, jst to have Pap give us
a ride there.
then, we walked down to the GameStop, & then to McDonalds,
and finally to Andrew's house, because it was his birthday; but he of course
wasn't there.=/
point is ! ihad sooo much fun jst walking around, watching the cars...
even saw a deer in someone's backyard.lol
---it was cool;
know what else is cool ? how Brittany & I are talking more
often now.
like, she's one of the few people icall "bestfriend" that idon't talk to very much.
lately, Facebook instant messaging has hit the spot=]
it's cool;really really...let's keep it up ?
...ikinda Screwed it up the first time we started 'getting close' again;so not this time--->
i'll let HER mess everything up=]

& yeah ! Tashauna and I haven't been talking very much, and sometimes not at all, when it used to be constantly.
...idk man; idid say iwanted to solve my girl issues, so iguess it's a good thing, but
i'd hate for her to fade away as a Bestfriend; that's some Andrew type ish.
maybe,,,
it's best if ijst have these issues ?

on another note,
ifind in STOMACH-CLENCHING that Ej, Pap, AND M knows where Sua lives,
but idon't.
seriously,,,
that sucks and doesn't even make sense.lol
my schedule was pretty Legit;
minus not having AP gov't.
...unless ican find another Spanish IV period,
i'll be missing out on it=[

...i've been noticing a lot of "relationship" changes or whatever on the right
side of Facebook,,,
i'll jst leave it at that.lol
girls are something interesting,
if only one would come along, or step into my world,
that makes me want no other...[she is quite possibly in my life now; but with what ihave been handed by girls;how can ibe sure ?--->yes, that was MEANT for YOU.lol]

,,,ihave been inspired; iam no longer gnna post quotes from
artists and celebrities alike.
all quotes you see, from this day on, are gnna be my OWN.
iusually use famous quotes frm songs at the end of each "Yo" entry,
so it's gnna be difficult creating my own,hehehe.
but,
it will enhance my poetic capabilites;
and make me feel Awesome._

--ihave some predictions for 12th grade,
more like things that ithink'll be interesting.
few of them are about other people because, well, idon't know them well enough.
& of course,
this is MY blog.

anyways; i'll go with some random girl, everything'll happen really fast.
we'll die off, of course. but then reason, believe it or not lol, will be because of some other
girl.
like; ihad a dream, where itold a random girl, "No one comes before her, I'm sorry if that bothers you, but that is the way it is,& how it will always be." The girl, about whom we were speaking, was Sua.
...whether the reason for my future breakup be Sua or not, i'm pretty sure that there
WILL be one, and it WILL be because of a close female companion.
----another prediction; i'll get really angry, like 3rd quarter or something, because i've been being really Patient with people the whole year, andNOT getting mad...as a result of my
extreme anger, i'll cut off someone close to me. icannot determine how long this 'cutting off' will be...
------and last, but surely not least[i'll have more predictions]: i'll become bestfriends with someone who is outside of my usual circle. it'll be random to everybody, and people will be very Critical of it...there'll be clash;but it will all end in me still have all my bestfriends,,,my old one jst won't be OD cool with my new one.

♥♥♥Mone jst asked me what "Cultural Diversity" meant;wow.
--we're talkingg on the phone: us doing soo ALWAYS brings back memories,,,both Good & bad.
iwas asking her for a 'prediction' about me in 12th grade,,,but she, like usual, didn't help.
ahhhh, you suck=]

to Pap;
please don't check this for grammatical errors.
iwas rushing, while thinking, & the result was probably not a good one.
icould have reviewed my work;but that would be wasting time...when this is not an English essay, this really has low relevance to my life, so yeah.
it's weird, very.

...ok, so the 'this really has low relevance to my life' was a Lie;
everything iwrite has significance to WHO I AM.
writing sets me free,
ibecome like a God on the keyboard,
or with a pen.
...my infatuation for the practice is the sole reason why iwish for everyone to see it.
this writing, is far from creative and ijst want people to read this to see what iam thinking.
but my poems,
and creative writing,
are like the World to me.


"...itry so hard, to promote my writing. but maybe, it jst isn't that Good----> as if. when ienjoy my writing, it's the best thing to have ever blessed this world;call me Cocky, and i'll call you a critic."

-em;

Randomness 102.

...most people won't get my title, because they haven't read "Randomness 101" on my blogspot;but then again,most people won't even read this.

*warning, this WILL be long.

anyways,,,somethings have been on my mind lately---lots of things actually.like, for some reason, iapparently have a "thing" for Yvette[Pap.],,,and that "thing" is apparently mutual.not really a big deal, but it jst seems as if ican't be cool with anyone w/o there having to be something Extra added to it---iguess that is my own fault;Pap is like the ONLY girl bestfriend ihave ever had who ididn't like.

...now on to more relevant things:well not really,,but uhm, apparently i'm Girl Crazy.idenied it at first, but maybe everyone was right.imean, i've had my share of crushes, but ialways found Most of them petty and just phases through which iwas going. like at this very moment, i;m having girl "situations" and they ALL haveboyfriends !like, wtf am I doing with my life._

i'm more than girl crazy, i'm jst plain stupid---it's something on which iwill be trying to work in the coming days.my[close]friends say that icould have nearly any girl iwanted, but maybe it's my stupidity, lack of aggression, confidence, and downright Pessimism that is stopping me from doing so.-
-not to mention that i'm indecisive.
idk man; ithink people are[mostly] phoney when they talk about,,,changing themselves: but ireally need to do so.


and then there's this ordeal ihave about "needing new friends, or at least reuniting with old ones."idon't wish to offend ANY of my current friends,but ineed something fresh.maybe, it's because i've been around the same people to long, and that's why i'm not where iwish to be socially. & like, i'm FADING from toooo many people---ilike having mutiples choices of friends to go to if iwant conversation or advice;idnt necessarily want a plethora of bestfriends, iactually dnt want to tell my bestfriends ANYTHING...ijst need, communication.


in addition, people jst really suck.like, ihave worked sooo many years to develop my patience---idon't get mad. like, ido, but notNEARLY as much as in 9th and 10th grade [ask around.]& then people follow others,overreact about things,praise others while diregarding others [Mj's and Farrah's deaths for example.],and jst countless other things---it's like, people are TRYING to make me mad.&& to make it worse, when iTRY to become friends with people, they ignore me...what did ido wrong ?

ugh; ishould release stuff more often...but idon;t like to hurt feelings<--there's goes that nice guy crap that plagues me.

being nice has gotten me here: single, annoyed by people, small social circle, no permit lol, confused, etc.like, we're taught to do well, but all the bad guys get the Gold ?,someone help me understand._my biggest high school crush said to me earlier that she is done with boys,how am ireally supposed to take that ?

---idnt "like" anyone, cause there isn't a single person with whom I would go out if they asked me this very moment.yet, iget attached to people...how sad.
...ijst had an Epiphany: my problem,at least with girls, is that ican't move on.so,ineed to do so;and jst keep things with girls who are taken FRIENDLY,while keeping the friendship of course.


my summer has been, stupid.only monumental thing that has Truly happened is me starting to work...everything else ?video games and dumb mental games i've been playingg with myself over girls.and omg,.my brother was born=]


---with my newest poems, ifeel as though my "skill" [what little is there]has returned as far as writing goes..so that makes me feel really good about myself.lol
and, Pap has been a pretty good friend, despite annoying me at least once everyday.

M is showing signs of us resurrecting how close we were prior to 3rd quarter 11th grade, wheneverything FELL.

inever really not how Sua and I are doing, so ijst stop thinking about it, to prevent myself from gettingoverly exicted,or mad....there are other about which icould write, but isn't this already long enough ?


i DEFINETLY MUST MUST MUST write a "Wrap-Up" for this summer;iforgot to do one for 11th grade=[like, ifeel as though ihave let people down.oh yeah;somethings of which people may not be aware:


-idnt believe ANYone until they prove what they have said.-idnt expect anything frm anyone, even if i'm 99% sure that they will do it/say it.
-idnt care about what you think me[when it comes to negative things], unless your name is Marcus,Yvette,Ej,Sua,Tre,Mone,Tashauna,Edem,Kileem,Kris or Rachel.
-idnt believe in the Bible or any other religious artifact or religion;ibelieve in a supernatural being, icall it God because that is the only term iknow.
-irarely do what iwant to, when it comes to many social and mental things.
-ilove making new friends, with people who ideem cool, differerent, and true to themselves.
-ilove grammar.
-iam disgusted of what has become of my peers, and generation as whole: our attitudes towards each other, and actions such as fighting and smoking have become out of control, and a downright disgrace---iwish iwere born in the past/future sometimes.-ibelieve that iam a pathetic human being who needs to wake up, and smell the waffles [idnt think ilike coffee.]
-if iwere to say everything iwished, iwould be happier, and you would be too, in thelongrun._
-idnt take many risks, depsite loving new things [and surprises---so surprise me !] because ihave constant negative thoughts and have been disappointed too many times;basically...ican't move on and need to be more joyful.

on another note,,,icould jst be sittin' here whining about nothing;that nothing is really wrong, and i'm overreacting---that maybe true,but iknow one thing:the Miles you see today, is the same Miles you'll see tomorrow.with some added features of course=]
...you and I, Collide.
-em;

FOR THE RECORD, IAM NOT, IREPEAT, IAM NOT BY ANY MEANS "DEPRESSED, SUCIDICAL, ANGRY WITH THE WORLD, ETC." iam merely trying to figure somethings out,and most importantly,figure myself out.

Psychological Revolution.

...I used to rule this world;
iwas the sole tyrant of my ideas,,,
and actions.
love &magic formed factions,
disappointment far and gone,
jubilance inevitably long,
friendships bonded and strong._

--it's almost as if,
I were dreaming;kings aren't Perfect,
so how could my dominion be ?
maybe,
it was because isought to see,
what my mind itself could be.
& lead with originality,
yet...
ihave been overthrown.
the fabric of remorse and
pessimism have been sewn.

...it seems,
that Ignorance has taken the throne,
and lives freely,
until I can once again seize of control,
of what icherish most dearly.


-em;

*so i'm sure some people are confused, maybe not. jst know, that my 'dominion' , or the area that of which iused to be "king" was my mind. inspiration ? well, ihave lost my mind...in an epic battle between myself, and stupidity.

Nature Boy.

I like sitting on my stoop;
admiring the squirrels as they scurry by,
following the birds as they flurry high,
touching the grass while each blade rocks with the wind,
absorbing the wind while it rocks with each blade.

I guess,
you can call me a Nature Boy;
because I like walking more than driving,
and am not to fond of boats, but would love diving.
And would rather take you on a pinic,
and be trampled by ants,
then out to a fancy restuarant,
and end with a romantic dance.

I never would have thought,
in my short 17 years,
that I'd trade in my favorite action toy,
for the title,
of that "silly ol' Nature Boy."


-em;


*Pap had to be, part of my inspiration for this---as so Sua. Pap laughs at me for preferring walking, and was the first to call me "Nature Boy." & Sua, well, she also likes to sit on her stoop, admiring whatever wishes to delight her eyes.

Cheater.

She knows no boundaries.
She believes no evil.
She speaks no truth.
She spews no tears.
She holds no heart.
She breaks all hearts.



-em;



*I was just thinking, about how I said to my friend "I want a girl to cheat on me, just once, so I can know how it feels." Sounds weird, but I like new things.

Paramour.

Illicit lover-paramour.
Does such a thing exist,
how can we be sure?
You can be kind...
caring, loving, and divine.
And still see an end to your aspiration,
with an empty house,
a lonely heart,
a frowning mouth.
You can try new approaches,
actually show some courage,
give her your all,
and flat on your face, you'll still fall.
Some are luckier than other,
I suppose...love can exist.
But in my world,
paramour is simply a myth.

-em.



so like, iactually think this could be better. everytime I "come back" to poetry, I usually make a poem that doesn't exactly insinuate my abilities. I'll eventually update it with minor changes.
anyways; yeah. I don't think there's much to explain with this one; I am going to make another poem entitled Paramour, but it will have a more joyful connotation. Oh yeah, there are two reasons why this poem even exists: Pap's love for Paramore, and my being single.lol

Relapse.

I think, I have strayed away from who I am with this blog. I truly wish to keep my thoughts and emotions concealed, at least, until they are truly needed and deeply desired, categories to which neither my thoughts nor emotion belong. Merely posting this revelation demonstrates my utmost treason. However, the reason for this work is not to express my distaste for my lack of secrecy, it is to exhibit my disdain for my lack of poetry-to spread poetry was the sole reason for the creation of this blog.
Not one entry, disregarding my first, has been a poem-how saddening. Thus, I am striving to return to my roots, and one of the very things that has made me who I am. For sometime, at least for a few weeks or so, my entries will be entirely made up of the majestic form of literature we call "poetry". This proclamation will of course be void if an idea arises, one that I feel cannot be expressed poetically, that I deem very intriguing, and possibly relevant.
If you actually read this, then I thank you, for to some, if not all, this minor "essay", if you will, is rather purposeless. Of course, that does not matter, completely-for to some degree, all of your thoughts matter...I'll explain more in another blog.




-em.

iHate...

acutally,
ionly "hate" two things: Smoking,
&& WHACKtastic replies when iam trying to make conversation---that's a new one.
anyways,,,let me get on with this "list" of things istrongly, or jst moderately, dislike.

------being told to "calm down." really blows me;people do it so that iCAN get upset;that reinforces my idea that people areEvil;and dnt even realize it------red lipstick and nail polish SUCK TO THE FULLEST.lol like, idk why; but they are such a severe turn-off. imean, so people are gnna look regardless a color, especially since females "look better in red" (hahaha,what dumbass came up with that.)------braids have to GRINDMYGEARS even more than red lipstick,nailpolish. omg;;iremember when my sister first started to get them when she was like 5 (iwas 7ish) and my heart almost stopped.lol i'm not sure;maybe it's because they aren't soft(ilovethesoftness of girls,and their hair.) like, braids jst LOOK ROUGH. && they show scalp::ewww !------utter and unnecessary RUDENESS is definetly up there;man ican't stand it when someone COMPLETELY SHUTS DOWN SOMEONE'S LIFE BECAUSE THEY SAID SOMETHING SIMPLE. i've been plagued with getting "wiled" (Tashauna, work on your spelling.lol) because of theMINOR things i've said before, and it sucks. like, ican't stand what has become of most of my peers with regards to their words, and actions.------stating the obvious is an "iffy" one; cause sometimes it doesn't bother me. but if iget a D on my report card, and it's ALL over myspace, and i'm CLEARLY upset about it,,,and then you come up to me all LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS and say "omg Miles ! you got a D?"....no shit.[excuse the French.] and even though that example was bit extreme,ithink you get the point. there are other, less severe [and relevant] times. once again, this rarely bothers me,but when it does, itDOES.------following other people and/or posing as something you ARE NOT (like 90% of the population does on myspace,facebook,and EVEN blogger) really gets me angry: honestly, seeing so many counterfeit people in one setting is the reason idnt get on myspace as much anymore;iactually get "angry." (if you ever wanted to know why i'm sometimes angry/not myself and there seemed to be no reason, now you know.) and as far as following people goes: it's ok to pick a few things up from people,,,, it's human nature to and it's also INEVITABLE,,,but to copy them completely or go along with something only because they do ? UGH ! dnt even talk tome.lol------beingg called/thought "gay" for listening to Beyonce', etc. really kills me.lol like, it ALMOST makes me want to cut off communication frm those people...if you're being funny, ok. but constant or serious scolding of my musical preferences will cause me to literally BOIL inside. like,,, people jst need to grow up (YES,beingg immature is also on this list.)------starting a thought just to not finish it makes me do the SAME THING TO YOU. like, if you say you're gnna tell me something and then DON't tell me, or start to talk about something and then STOP talkingg about it when iask about it,,, then iWILL BE secretly angry with you. probably not for long, for it's not that serious, and if you want to keep something from me, than iwill respect that,,,ido have enough to pride to not constantly try to get something from ANYONE. i'm sure someone who DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION (also on the list) will say "omg, but he does the same thing to me." iJUST said that acting this way, will cause me to act the same: so if iever stop saying something, jst think about WHY.------saying "if you say so" slightly irritating because it leads into not saying what you WANT to. ijst want people to be comfortable and say what they wish;therefore being THEMSELVES.------ohyeah; reading or viewing my thingss (like blog entries or myspace pictures) but NOT commenting them also SUCKS to me.,,,like iWANT to know your feedback: that's the whole reason why ieven posted it,geesh.

---so back to "smoking" and "bad replies"....smoking is overly unnattrative;it smells;it kills; and iwill NEVER EVEN CONSIDER GOINGG WITH A GIRL WHO SMOKES. ieven consider friendship with those who smoke;but iusually overlook it as long as they do not smoke around me. smoke (almost) has no purpose.
--and when iam trying to make conversation with you, IT'S FOR A REASON. saying shit [excuse me] like "yeah" or simply "lol" makes me NOT wanna reply,but ido because i'm a good guy;and rlly rlly rlly rlly want to talk to you. maybe ishould jst stop trying to make conversation, and see how you feel...


*ihavemorethings;but they have not come to mind.(i'll add them.)
&& isounded Really mad in that blog, didn't I ? lol---probably more angry then most of you have ever seen me;but ireally am finee.
>_<



-em.

Girls...

so like, ithink ihave a problem.
Sua;Javaughn.
Tashauna;Scoob.
--idnt think ineed to go on,even though there are only like one or two other namess.
POINT IS, ialways seem to consider "flings" w/those who are taken,that's a shame.
like,really. can't ifind someone who is Single ?
& the worst thing is, i'mNOT a homewrecker.
as itold Pappoe (the one who said this isn't even a problem), iactually RESPECT boyfriends.
idntthinkicouldbethe"other dude"...but who knows ?--i've done a lot of things ithought i'd never do.
anyways;iwant to be DONE. Scoob asked me the other day if iliked Tashauna...OFCOURSE isaid no.lol but either way, iwould have said noo cause idnt "like" anyone.
(Pap, shut up, i'm NOT in denial.lol) ---it's just, ihave "thoughts" of goingg with people, or isimple just Love them (Sua, for example.)
like, it's sad how much he loves this girl, and how often ithink about if iwere to go with her...ifelt as though iMISLEAD him...iwish icould stop these "thoughts".it's not that simple...ilove_talkingtoher_morethan_98%_ofmyfriends...man.
---my mind runs;ieven had thoughts about Jheri.-->yes, iknow i've been down that road before.
but it's, different this time. she's like the coolest (ok, she's close, Sua will forever hold that title.lol) we text ALL THE TIME;like it's sickening.lol she goes with John (idk for how long,but that's not the point.) and then ifind out that Ej possibly likes her too...ugh !;see...
this is why ineed to jst chill. let girls have their boyfriends;it's not like they like me anyways,ishould stay away. (of course i'm not goingg to lol;but it would be beneficial for ME.) ---------that's why iasked you, Tashauna, the other day what yo would say if I said we should stop talkingg for like a week.
& then,
there's Sua...idk what to say.
we dnt even talk like that,she's jst a PRIME example of my TERRIBLENESS.
idk;ialways talk about how people need to grow up...and look how immature i'm beingg.
(wow;this blog seems really Sad doesn't it ? lmao.)
ineed a new hobby;
this "thinkingg" thing isn't leading me ANYwhere,except whackness._
& one more thing...
iactually sat here and thought for about 10 minutes whether ishould post this or not:iNEVER do that...ineed to look Outside my circle of friends,or jst dnt look at all.
ya'll my manz though lol;we can jst beFriends._














...what was the point of this blog ? lol:i'monepathetickid.
istill have my sense of Cool though=]
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(that's 6 smileyfaces.)**